Friday, March 04, 2005  

Movie Review: Constantine

  Constantine - Well, let's just call it Commercial instead. This movie is nothing more than the attempt of big movie studio heads trying to rape the pockets of Matrix trilogy fans. With a creative plot line about a man trying to kill demons to buy his way into heaven, you'd think the script would be entertaining. Far from it to say the least. About 110 wasted pieces of paper, with typing on them, went into this film.

No offense to the pack of writers on the project, Jamie Delano, Garth Ennis (The Punisher - 2004), Kevin Brodbin (The Glimmer Man - 1996) and Frank A. Cappello. Within the pack, they've been able to write about six or seven scripts. With Constantine, oh sorry, I mean Commercial; the script is so muddled down and confusing it's really not even worth trying to review. Sorry guys, you fell a little short on this one.

One surprising highlight of the film is Rachel Weisz (Runaway Jury - 2003). She does a terrific job along side the always monotone Reeves. Don't get me wrong. I like Keanu Reeves (The Matrix - 1999) as a person; I can't stand him as an actor unless it's something like Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989). The character relationship between the two in this film is dull. Seeing them together on screen makes up for that. They look good together. I'm sure their pockets are a little deeper after this one as well.  

Now Commercial has fantastic effects that actually justify the ticket price. The demonic fiery hell filled with grotesque patrons and a brief glimpse of heaven with tall skyscrapers mingled with powder puff clouds and a crisp blue sky… all fake. If you like this stuff then Constantine, sorry I mean, Commercial is for you. Computer generated demons are what got me to the theater. I can't get enough of that stuff.

Why do I call this film Commercial you ask? It's simple. It starts with the inundation of commercials portraying a blockbuster movie. The theaters jump on the bandwagon and plaster the posters everywhere. The movie starts. Soon you come to the realization that to many writers had their hand in the cookie jar. The script makes no sense. It's hard to follow. You stay in your seat watching because the visuals are remarkable. The studio heads put all the money into the effects, not the writing. The only purpose for this movie was to make a buck. I guarantee Commercial won't be the movie of the year or even be on the ballot for any Oscar nominations.

So why make not a movie that speaks to people? Why not make a movie that grips your heart and twists your emotions keeping it in you mind for years to come? One word, money. Fifty million in two weeks at the box office will keep this movie balancing on the edge of making a profit. Keep in mind the advertising that was packaged on the tab. The concept of this film had potential; the studio had other ideas.

I can't help buy say it again, commercial, commercial, commercial.

Visit the official movie site.


At 9:01 AM,Anonymous CT said...

I wonder how true it stayed to the "Hellblazer" comic book series that it was based on (also a Time Warner property, via DC Comics). I imagine it maintained only a passing connection.

What unnerves me most about crapfests like this is that the kneejerk reaction is to blame the source material, implying that comic book fiction is not good enough for big-screen translation. When really, the comic book versions usually are far superior to what ultimately gets distilled to the screen.

At 9:42 AM,Blogger Semaji said...

I thoroughly agree CT. Thanks for your opinions.